That’s me – Mr Funny Expat Guy, ever since I started this blog a couple of years ago.
I’ve always been quick to point out the difference between British biscuits and American cookies, or to explain how Halloween is the most underrated American holiday. I’ve been keen to call attention to things like the dire state of restaurant nachos in the UK, or give British people their first taste of spray-cheez.
Oh those were the days!
Nowadays, it’s not so easy to be Mr Expat Funny Guy. Writing a blog about how much the British love the TV show Friends, or how they pretend to hate (but secretly love) Dick Van Dyke, just feels so irrelevant.
I mean who cares if the British commonly serve lasagne with a side order of fried potatoes, if the whole post-Brexit country is going to hell in a handbasket?
And who cares about learning how to tip in America, if the entire USA is now just a puppet colony of Russia, thanks to the election of a moronic and narcissistic president? Come to think of it, here’s a tip for you: Don’t elect a sleazy orange scumbag to be leader of the free world.
I’ve tried to write funny little blogs, but it’s just getting to be dispiritingly difficult.
You wind up starting to write about topics that are more bleak than humorous. Hey, how about a blog post comparing our two countries’ worst politicians? I mean everyone knows how dumb Donald Trump is, but do they realise what a gigantic, racist schoolboy imbecile Boris Johnson is? Or how cringe-worthy an experience it is to listen to Shadow Home Secretary Diane Abbott speak?
But it all winds up more depressing than funny. And plus, the whole world is blogging and making jokes about Donald Trump and his new BFF, Theresa May. Do I really have that much of a unique perspective anymore? Why bother? Both countries are screwed.
Ooh – I’ve got one: How about a blog post about which country’s press is more hatefully xenophobic?! Fox News versus the Daily Mail! That’d be hilarious, right?
Nope. Everyone knows the Daily Mail is worse. And in order to write that story, I’d have to read a whole bunch of horrible Daily Mail articles. I can’t think of anything less pleasant or less funny than that.
So I’m left with a choice. Give up even trying to be funny and turn this into yet another political blog. Or just put my head down in the sand and keep blogging about how Ribena tastes funny and how Americans eat Peeps at Easter time and the differences between American versus British slang and….
I. Just. Can’t. Do. It.
I won’t be fiddling while Rome burns. So I’m declaring this blog dead. For now. Maybe I’ll post to it every once in a while. Maybe not. In the meantime, you can visit my new blog: Do The Wrong Thing, where I’m going to keep writing, but just not about two countries I love that are hurtling towards self-destruction. It’ll be funny, I swear. Come join me. What else are you going to do? Vote for change? A fat lot of good that seems to do.
– Mr Funny Expat Guy, Who Doesn’t Feel Like Being Funny Anymore So He Started A New Blog Where There’s No Pressure To Try To Influence Society In Two Countries That Were Fine, But Now Are Hell-Bent On Turning Everything To Feces.