There are two things that make British people happier than anything else:
- Americans attempting to do British accents, poorly.
This blog has already covered this in great depth, most notably in one of my very first posts: “Dick Van Dyke: Britain’s most beloved hero.” If you don’t feel like clicking through, all you need to know is that nothing makes British people feel more joy than a mention of Dick Van Dyke’s monstrously bad cockney accent in the film Mary Poppins.
- American politicians revealing themselves to be idiots.
The other thing they love is when American politicians say something truly stupid. Last night, Senator Marco Rubio made a fool out of himself by robotically repeating the same talking point five times during a Republican Presidential debate. He’s now being called a “MarcoBot” by a gleeful British press. I have a theory that British people love these instances, just as they love Dick Van Dyke, as they reinforce notions of Anglo intellectual superiority over their former colonial subjects. Or maybe they, like me, just think American politics are equal parts hilarious and terrifying. Either way, I like making people happy, so here’s some other recent examples of American politicians showing themselves to be as dumb as a box of rocks:
Presidential candidate Marco Rubio repeats rehearsed line five times (2016)
Vice President Dan Quayle can’t spell the word ‘potato’ (1992)
Vice President Dan Quayle blames America for the Holocaust, claims to not live in this century (1988)
Texas Governor Rick Perry forgets his platform in the middle of a presidential debate (2011)
George Bush says a load of dumb things:
Sarah Palin wears silver fringed top, endorses Donald Trump with random words (2016)
Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell makes TV ad explaining that she is not a magic witch (2010)
Representative Hank Johnson worried that island of Guam might “capsize” (2010)
Mitt Romney is uncomfortable around black people, so he sings “who let the dogs out”
Sarah Palin never claimed she could see Russia from her house. What she really said was dumber (2008)
Presidential candidate Dr Ben Carson claims government healthcare is worse than slavery:
Presidential candidate Dr Ben Carson claims prison rape proves homosexuality is a choice (2015)
Congressman Todd Akin claims cases of “legitimate” rape can not end in pregnancy (2012)
Several Republican Presidential candidates proudly declare that they don’t believe in evolution (2007)